My theory has been proven correct. She is different everyday. One day we may seem close and a little more than friends, and the next day we seem distant and uncomfortable. I guess we're equally confused about our situation.
Even if she doesn't want a boyfriend, I just want to always be there for her. She works so hard at school and everything she does and I really want to help her. Maybe its because of my eagerness to help that she feels pressured, since I try too hard to be with her. *sigh* I hate myself for making her so uncomfortable and I really regret it.
blehh maybe im the only one out there who does this but it's kinda fun imagining sad endings of me dying or my heart getting broken in my day dreams. It provokes a really heart-wrenching feeling, which helps prove if you really like someone or not.
And people keep telling me that I should not let myself be led on by her, since she's intimate sometimes and aloof in others, but I think it's worth all that disappointment and depression for those rare moments of happiness and intimacy. If this is blind bliss, so be it.
♪ of the day: Miss Invisible by Marié Digby
Word of the day: Devotion
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